4 Reasons Youre Not Getting Promoted at Work - The Muse

4 Reasons Youre Not Getting Promoted at Work - The Muse4 Reasons Youre Not Getting Promoted at Work Youve heard all the advice about how working hard means good things will come your way. Youve been doing that. Long days, nights, and even some weekends. Youre getting it done and going above and beyond, which is, what you heard you have to do to succeed in this hyper-competitive career world. When you look around, though, you notice something awry. Youre not getting promoted or even praised. Youre notintroduced to the managers upstairs or given an opportunity to present to the team. But that colleague of yours, the one who was hired two weeks after you, is getting acknowledged left and right, and the last you heard, hes up for a promotion. Sure, hes a fine employee and a hard worker too, but hes not better or smarter than you.So whats going on ? Whats he got that you dont? The answer might be simple emotional intelligence. EI, as its often called now that its an official buzzword, is the ability to distinguish your own and otzu sichs emotions so that you can manage yourself and your relationships with others effectively. In fact, its been said that possessing emotional intelligence is so important that even if you did everything perfectly in your job, you couldnt be considered a top performer without it.The challenge is that were never really taught this soft skill in school. Its not too late, though, especially if you want to have a thriving and successful career. Here are four key components to emotional intelligence. See which ones you may need to work on. 1. Youre Clueless About YouYoure in a one-on-one with your babo, and shes asking about your career aspirations. Youre not sure. You dont really know where youre headed, or even (gulp) how your skill set can be an asset to the team. In short, youre failing in the self-awareness department. One of your most powerful career tools is exactly that. Knowing who you are, what youre good at, what you need to work on, and how you will use your talents to create success is essential to your professional growth. High levels of self-awareness are correlated to successful performance. In Travis Bradberrys Leadership 2.0, the author notes that 83% of people who rated high in levels of self-awareness are also rated as top performers. Whats more Your overall satisfaction with life increases the more self-aware you are. Think about how empowering it would be to have a productive and insightful conversation with your manager about your key strengths and how youre going to leverage them to help make the whole team successful. An easy way to start building self-awareness is with three simple assessments. Get started by learning about your strengths with the help of Strengths Finder 2.0, your personality type through this ansprechbar assessment, and your emotional intelligence quotient, explained in Bradberrys popular Emotional Intelligence 2.0. In short order, youll soon be an expert on you. 2. Your Emo tions Run AmokYoure having a rough day on the job as it is when a stressful situation pops up. That 5 PM deadline is looming and you havent heard back from the guy in shipping as to whether or not you can commit to the client. You are literally seeing red when your phone call to him goes to voicemail. Beyond frustrated, you explode. It isnt pretty. Your co-workers run for cover. Your boss silently questions your judgment. Instead of managing emotions that crop up in the workplace- like your frustration with shipping- your emotions manage you. Thats going to be a problem come promotion time.When you arent good at managing your emotions in times of stress, youre a liability. If others cant predict how youll respond to provocative situations, itll be hard to recommend you for an advancement. Your boss may not be willing to risk his hard-won reputation in the process.The solution lies within you Tame your inner emotional tyrant. One very simple way is to use the ol count to 10 technique . When youre tempted to explode, take a deep breath, and count before you say anything. In that short amount of time, youll reverse the grip your emotions have on you- or at least lessen it- and youll be able to respond in a calm, professional manner.3. You Cant Read the RoomIn a project meeting youre excited to talk about a new idea you have. But not everyones on board with you. Several people present just dont get what youre saying. Yet, those who try to interject are steamrolled by your presentation. Its clear youre not interested in their ideas. As you press onward, one colleagues brow starts to furrow. Another slouches in her chair and grabs her phone. Others are staring out the window. Youre so deep into what youre saying that you cant even see youve lost the room, that no one is hearing you. If youve ever been in a situation like this, you have some work to do. You arent very good at reading the room. Maybe youve been told at some point that youre not a great listener. Or tha t youre not open to ideas different from yours. If so, your social awareness muscles need work. You must learn to pick up on and respond to the spoken or unspoken cues that give you feedback in the moment. Without this important skill, people are bound to see you as uncaring, emotionally distant, dismissive of their input, perhaps even unapproachable. And if this is the case, no ones going to want to work with you.To up your social-awareness quotient, start with two very simple actions. First, observe. Go to your next meeting with a new outlook. Instead of pushing your agenda and ideas, simply observe. Notice how others respond to whats being said. Work at reading the body language you see in response. Secondly, really listen. Rather than waiting for your turn to speak, focus on what others are saying. Thoughtfully consider their comments before you respond. Ask for clarification when youre not sure. Once you get better at observing, and listening, youll improve your interactions, a nd your reputation, with the team.4. You Struggle with Managing RelationshipsThe only way you get work done is through your relationships with other people. If you think about any part of your job, youll quickly see how much you need others to totally kill it at work. Research shows that 85% of your success will come from your ability to manage relationships, communicate effectively, negotiate conflict, and influence others. People will even buy things from you if they know, like and trust you even if a competitor they dont like is offering a better product at a lower price. Relationships matterBuilding good relationship skills isnt hard, but it does require awareness and intention on your part. And one very simple step is to be open with and curious about others. In other words, ask people questions that show you care about them and that you want to get to know them. Tell them why you do things they way you do. Allow them to get to know you and hear part of your story. Devote a few minutes each day to connecting with others, and youll wonder how you ever managed before. If youre performing at a high level and are seeing results, but youre not seeing opportunities you think you deserve, take a look at your emotional intelligence capabilities- and your colleague whos getting all the great attention and praise. Are yours lacking and his obviously apparent now that you know what to look for? Dont let your weak EI hurt your chances of getting ahead and getting noticed.Photo of two men talking courtesy of Milton Brown/Getty Images.